"You are unique- just like everybody else."

     For as long as I can remember, I've never had a normal life.  Funny thing is is that it was normal for me.  While most kids in my generation are from broken homes, I grew up w/ out a father.  Because my mom had to work a lot, I was partially raised by my grandparents.  And because I ran off almost any guy that showed interest in my mom, my grandfather was my only male role model.   This was my normal and I was okay w/ it.  Then one day, at daycare, a little girl was being picked up by BOTH parents.  Keep in mind I was 4, but this seemed strange to me.  I wasn't a moron- I knew fathers existed; what I didn't realize was that mommies and daddies lived in the same house.  Most of the girls and boys that I played with were from broken homes.
     As the years went on, and I met kids in different situations than mine, I realized a camaraderie between us:  We all thought that our own normal was normal.
     As kids we get put in this world and that's the world we know.  However as we get older we have to adjust our normal with any "curve balls" (Thank you Elizabeth Fowler for such a great phrase- hope you don't mind my using it!) that our thrown our way.  When my mom got cancer I had to learn to grow up and be responsible- sadly, I handled that the wrong way.  But nonetheless, I had to adapt to her being sick as the new normal.
    Time has gone by.  My grandparents are gone.  My mom is cured.  I'm married.  I have kids.  When Graham was 5 weeks old, he got whooping cough.  Which is not normal- so of course he's my kid. lol.  When he was 2, and I was 7 months pregnant w/ Lane, he got gastritis.  As I'm sitting at Vandy, looking at all these different kids w/ different problems, I once again felt this camaraderie with all those parents:  All of us would have liked to be anywhere else than where we were.  Now he has speech delay  I remember the kids' pediatrician telling me that most parents "don't have to deal with the things that you have had to deal with."  This took me aback.  It was like I woke up and realized that I had adapted to this w/ out even thinking twice.  We had always had problems w/ Graham.  I just thought most parents had problems w/ their kids but they didn't talk about it.
     When I talk to most parents, their first child was so amazing that they decided to have another.  Their second one was the devil and- I love this phrase- if they had had the second one first, they would not have had another.  I figured that I had already handled enough w/ Graham so maybe, since it was "normal" for things to go backward in my life, that the second one would be different.  And he was just that.  He slept through the night, he hardly cried, he smiled all the time.  Everything about him was normal- until now.  Six months ago, Lane kept getting sick and getting ear infections.  After 4 months of non-stop sickness, we took him to an ENT.  Again, not a moron, I was aware that he would probably need tubes.  What I didn't realize was that he was hearing impaired for 4 months.  They gave him a hearing test- which he failed.  I cried- a lot. I guess I kinda knew that he couldn't hear all that time, but with his age I just thought he was ignoring me.  Tubes were placed and after a few weeks we could tell that he could hear better.
     At a 4 week check up, his left ear passed but his right ear is only at 70%.  Compared to 0%, I'll take it!  He will need speech therapy.  I knew that was always a possibility.  What I didn't realize is that along w/ the hearing impairment, Lane may have a thyroid problem.  He has lost weight and only grown 3/4" in 9 months.  His thyroid is normal, but his TSH is elevated.  The TSH is working over drive to make his thyroid normal.  Hopefully all he'll need is to take a pill for the rest of his life.  So next month he has to be reevaluated for both. 
     This is my normal.  Sure it's stressful and tough.  But there are a lot of people out there that would give almost anything for my normal.  And then there are some people that I would give almost anything for their normal.  Your normal is YOUR NORMAL.  It's not that it's a wrong or right thing.  It is different for everyone.  We all have a different amount of tolerance for the stuff that's thrown at us.  Best thing about life is that it's not the situation that makes you strong, it's how you handle it.
So this is me.  My life.  My opinion.  This is about my journey to becoming a better woman, daughter, wife, parent, and friend.  I hope you enjoyed and stay tuned...