"courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear."

     Yesterday was a day like any other.  Nick went to work; I stayed home w/ the kids.  I was making dinner when it dawned on me to have an at home date w/ my hubby.  I decided to make popcorn and s'mores and for us to watch a movie.  We put Lane to bed and put a movie on for Graham in the play room.  Nick and I got cozy on the couch and started the process of elimination on movies.  I was scrolling through when one movie caught my eye, a movie I had wanted to see for quite some time, "Courageous."
     Yes, I realize the movie came out last year.  Yes, this was my first time watching it.  No, I do not live under a rock.  I heard everyone rant and rave about this movie.  I had every intention of going to see it, rent it, watch it, but never did.  I now believe that God picked last night for us to watch it.  I knew very little about this movie.  I knew that it dealt w/ fatherhood, but did not realize how impacting it could be.
 "We're watching this one!"
     Nick being the go-with-the-flow guy he is said okay.  Then he says "What's it about?"  "I'm not sure, but I know the people that made "Facing the Giants" made it and it deals w/ fatherhood."
     I had no idea what a roller coaster ride we were in for!  Five minutes in and I was crying!  Together, we watched, laughed, and cried over this amazing movie.  Now I don't know how it affected Nick- I can only tell you how it affected me.
     Being a child that grew up w/out a dad, I could see the statistics of fatherless children to be true.  Luckily, I  had Jim.  (If you don't know this, that's what I called my grandpa.)  So while I had a male figure, it was still hard not having a father.  Unfortunately, I spent more time being depressed that one man wasn't there and not noticing all the wonders that another man did.  Jim was a wonderful example of a great man.  He loved God and his family.  He helped his friends become better men, served his community and church faithfully.  He even helped raise 2 women that were not even his blood.  This man loved me when no other man could.  He saw beyond all flaws and that I was good enough to love.  Even though it was not his job to help raise me, he did so w/ out ever batting an eye lash.  I never wanted for anything because of this man.  He was my first best friend.  He made me a tree house, let me dance on his feet, and never made me feel anything but completely loved.  I could go into such detail of this wonderful man's love for me, but I'm sure no one wants to read 20+ pages of my writing!!!
     I realize that it is not yet Father's day so this may seem premature, but I have a few men to thank.  First, God.  For giving me so many wonderful blessings and unconditional love.  Secondly Jesus' earthly father, Joseph.  For proving that a child does not have to be your blood to love them unconditionally.  Of course Jesus b/c he took on our sins so that we could live and be forgiven.  Next, Jim.  For being the greatest example of what a man should be for God, himself, and his family.  Next, Nick.  For being my light in the darkness.  My saving grace.  My dream come true.  My best friend and soul mate.  A wonderful father and mentor to our boys.  And last but not least, my father-in-law, Dave Lester.  For showing my husband how to be a great man.  And for taking me in as if I were his own daughter.  For loving me and showing me a different perspective of what it takes to be a great man.
     These men are walking talking examples of greatness.  They see beyond the bull shit that life gives at times.  They stand strong in their faith.  They provide more than just food and shelter to their families.  I pray that my sons are the embodiment of these great men.
     If you have never seen "Courageous" I suggest you do.  Not because it's life-changing, but because it is eye opening.  It shows the struggles and responsibilities of being a man.  I can see now why it is so difficult for most to be unable to rise to the challenge.  It is something that you have to give your all.  So thank you great men for making it look so easy because I never realized how hard it is for men to be more than just men.  The greatness that you add to the title of man is just awesome!