CAUTION: GROWN UP IN PROGRESS

"When I was a child..."

     I remember a fond moment between me and my mom when I was six.  We were sitting at the dining room table, it was breakfast time, and my mom said, "What do you want for breakfast?"  "Chocolate cake." was my reply.  "You can't have chocolate cake for breakfast."  "Why?"  "Because it's not a breakfast food and because I said so."  And so, since I was given a matter-of-fact answer, I gave a matter-of-fact reply.  "Well, when I grow up and move out and live on my own can I have it then?"  My mom snickered at this but calmly said, "If that's what you want."
     It's funny to think about the words "grow up."  When we are kids, we wanna be grown ups.  Because we think that grown ups make their own rules- do what they want when they want.  That might be true except their are bigger rules and consequences than before.  And I'm not talking about going to jail or losing your job.  See when i envisioned adulthood, I saw an independent woman w/ great clothes, great job, money, friends and partying.  BUT, you can't have the clothes and money unless you have the job.  AND no one tells you that you gotta work your way up in that job!!!  So having the best and newest doesn't happen for a loooooong time. 
      Our parents always say, "Work hard, and you can achieve anything."  What they should say from the get-go is, "Hey we're broke.  You aren't gonna get a new car when you're 16, you won't go to college unless you get a scholarship, and if you graduate and get a job, you will have no life until you get a promotion."  You know why they don't say that?!?!  Because you would NEVER leave!!!  Our parents say "apply yourself."  I have news for you:  10 YEAR OLDS HAVE ZERO IDEA WHAT THAT MEANS!!!! 
     I don't know if this is how everyone else grew up, but this is how it went for me:  Don't take high school seriously, take college seriously.  Don't worry about this part-time job, you can get another one.  You won't work at Wendy's the rest of your life.  Now, I love my family, but that screwed me up.  It was not until I was 24 that life hit me in the face.  I never took anything seriously; so when it was time to take things seriously, I didn't know how. 
It's hard to let go of childish things when you don't grasp reality until waaay later.  Growing up is serious work.  You have to work at it everyday, but because you have had more experience working toward an ideal than the real deal, growing up is- dare I say it- disappointing.  See, it takes time to "grow up."  It doesn't happen the day you turn 18, or 21 or whatever.  You had 18 years of thinking like a child; do you really think the day you turn 18 that you magically think like an adult?  It's like planting flowers; you don't see the bloom for a while, but, when you do, it's beautiful.
So this is me. My life. My opinion.  This is about my journey of becoming a better woman, daughter, wife, parent and friend.  I hope you enjoyed and stay tuned...
    

Leigh Ann: UNDER CONSTRUCTION

"To thine own self, be true."

Okay, so when Shakespeare wrote that, he was obviously NOT a parent.
     You see, being a parent is hard work.  And I don't mean the 2 a.m. feedings, the never ending fights about bed time, the colic, the back talk, etc.  Basically everything that babies and kids do to make messes and make you wanna pull your hair out. (Don't get it twisted, all that sucks and is hard work.)  No, what I'm referring to is the amount of restraint and patience it takes EVERYDAY to be a parent.
     When you become a parent, no one tells you that you have to change your mentality.  It's like everyone thinks that as soon as you see this new wiggly bundle of joy that you are immediately transformed into this different being.  No one tells you about the "oh shit" moment.  In case you are not familiar with this particular moment, allow me to illuminate:  Imagine when you graduated high school, you are now an adult.  You have the world at your feet, and you have ZERO idea what you're gonna do.  Multiply that by a million and you'll have a vague conception of the "oh shit" moment.
   In psychological terms, when you have a baby, you have to go from id to super-ego instantly.  But it's not just your kids to which you have to show restraint; it's everyone and everything.  Why?  Because you have to set an example.  It is a mental workout, if you will, everyday to be a parent.  It's just like the Direct TV  commercial:  Don't have a grand kid w/ a dog collar.
   See, before kids, I had a big mouth and a bad temper.  I still have them, but I can't cuss people out just because I'm mad.  I have to "use my words."  Gone are the days of "tellin it like it is" no- now the name of the game is diplomacy.  And this is not just being a parent- it's being a grown up, too.
   Now, when I say all of this, I am in no way bashing kids or parenting.  Truth be told, at the end of the day, I love my little family.  It's all in good fun that I say the things that I say.  See, parenting is like class.  Upper class would be your parents that love love LOVE being parents and were blessed with perfect, well behaved kids.  The lower class would be the ones that go out all the time, leave their child with whomever, beat their kids, etc.
Here's the funny part about being a parent:  Everyone thinks that you are an "upper class" parent until you do something that they don't do or agree with and just like that (snap fingers) you are a lower class parent!  Fact is, we all, for the most part, are middle class parents.
     Middle class parents have structure- somewhat. (hey kids are chaotic, they have off days)  My children have structure because I discipline them!  And I do like a little sporadic "me time" (hey, who doesn't?)  But at the end of the day, when the fighting over bed time is over and i get hugs and kisses from those awesome little boys, I get a sense of accomplishment because they still love me and my hair is still in tact- so far.

So this is me. My life. My opinion.  This blog is not meant to be all about parenting; it's just what was on my mind tonight.  This is about my journey of becoming a better woman, daughter, wife, parent and friend.  I hope you enjoyed and stay tuned...